Unprofound Extremities

I know most of you are just starting your day; maybe some of you are getting that first cup of joe or chatting with a coworker, but please take a seat because I have some distressing news to report. It appears that hell has just frozen over. Yes, get into your house and lock the door because outside in the cold, frigid air, pigs are flying and the fat lady has just sung, terribly I might add. I am sure the suspense is killing you, so I will just come right out and say it: I recently joined a ggggyyyymmm, sigh, gym; there I said it. I know, I know, it’s worse than you thought and I am sorry for that. However, before you begin judging me, you should know that I did not join willingly. That’s right; I was tricked into taking this hiatus into hell. Tricked, I tell you; by a close friend, no less. How you ask? Well, the truth is I haven’t stepped foot into a gym in years, so when my friend suggested the two of us get a gym membership, (and knowing she is fully aware of my repulsion t